Oh Insomnia, thou art a heartless bitch

Image from SHOSHANA KESSOCK

I’ve read somewhere that if you waken up and afte 20 mins still can’t get back to sleep then you should get up and do something gentle fr a short period then give it another shot.

I mean, it’s not an exact science – there are arguments that even just checking the time on awakening scuppers your chances of drifting off back to the land of nod. But sometimes, and especially when you have a snorer in the room, these things are surely worth a shot.

I won’t embarrass said snorer by making a recording, but let’s just say it’s, well, pretty hard core.

So I’ve taken myself downstairs to get away from it and I’m going to do some more postcard colouring. About 2hrs ago, when this last happened, (the exhausted awake but can’t sleep-Ness, I began a list of who I wanted to write to and which type of message.

So there’s going to be some not so subtle address seeking and hopefully a nice bunch of cards to put in the letter box – just to say to someone that I’m thinking of them, or a congratulations on a new baby or happy birthday or anything really.

Yup, it’s true, I’ve reached that grand old age when many of my friends have one or more children. Scary!

I’ve been at it a while and my desperately poor attempts to colour within the lines has resulted in a handful of cards and a more relaxed, sleepier me so I’m back off upstairs.

Please oh please give me another couple of hours kip 🤞🙄🙏💤

For more tips on overcoming insomnia type symptoms check out The Muse, where I found this:

1. Think Positive

It’s that easy—science says ridding your mind of those negative thoughts (“It’s so late, I’ll never get to sleep at this rate,” “I’m going to be so tired tomorrow at work,” “This stinks”) calms you down and makes you more likely to fall asleep.

2. Pick One Thing to Focus On

You know how they always say to try counting sheep? Well, focusing on something specific (like filling a treasure chest) could be just what you need to get sleepy. Choose to focus on your breath, or repeat a calming mantra over in your head—as long as it’s not “I can’t sleep,” because see above.

3. Pretend to Be Tired

Trick your brain into thinking you’re exhausted by, well, pretending you are. Concentrate on the kinds of things you would feel if you were tired, like drooping eyes, the room darkening, or the sensation of sinking into your bed—and before you know it, you just might experience them!

4. Adjust Your Temperature

What’s your ideal sleeping environment? Even if you can’t completely control the heating and cooling system in your home, you can control your body. So, put the fan closer to your face when you’re too hot or bundle up when you’re too cold. Science proves that the ideal sleeping temperature is 60 to 67 degrees Fahrenheit, so best to shoot for that!

5. Read

No, not on your Kindle or phone, but with a solid, made-of-paper book—to help you out, here are 21 books that career coaches recommend. Dim the lights in your room (or use a lamp) just enough so you can see comfortably, and read—don’t worry about remembering the story or getting to a certain page, just take it in until you feel yourself getting sleepy.

6. Listen to Music

Now, I’m not suggesting you go blasting an intense album (unless that works for you), but some simple, acoustic, minimal percussion music might be perfect for getting your eyes to droop.

7. Or Try a Podcast or Audiobook

Choose your favorite podcast or a non-action-packed audiobook, preferably one that’s dense, and let the soothing voices quiet your mind. It’s not about retaining the information—it’s about giving yourself some comforting background noise.

Bonus tip: Try out the Sleep With Me podcast that’s literally meant to bore you to bed (you’ll be surprised how well it works).

8. Or White Noise

Sometimes the unbearable silence is what’s keeping you up—so, try a white noise app to fill the space with subtle sounds.

9. Or a Meditation App

Download a breathing app like Headspace, or a nature sounds app that will soothe your thoughts and make feel like you’re napping on the beach.

(For more apps, try out these eight free ambience apps!)

10. Stretch

Yes, you can try this sleep hack without getting out of bed. Put your legs up against the wall to calm your central nervous system, or try happy baby pose or child’s pose to relax your body. Alternatively, do some light leg and arm movements and exercises on your back to release any excess tension.

11. Relax From Head to Toe

A colleague swore by this: Concentrate on each muscle, starting from your toes, and tell yourself “My feet are getting sleepy,” “My right leg is getting very sleepy,” “My stomach is asleep,” while you relax each body part. She says she never makes it past her hips!

12. Try the 4-7-8 Exercise

According to science, focusing on your breathing decreases your heartrate and blood pressure, which is prime for sleepiness.

So, try this sleep technique:

  • Inhale for four seconds
  • Hold your breath for seven seconds
  • Exhale for eight seconds
  • Repeat!

13. Journal

If your mind’s racing, grab a notebook and jot down every thought you have—don’t make it linear or pretty, just get everything out until you’re out of ideas and start to tire.

14. Work on the Thing That’s Keeping You Up

If you find that there’s something really nagging you and keeping you awake, don’t just pretend it’ll go away. Whether it’s responding quickly to an email (or writing it and saving it for the morning when you can properly spellcheck it), jotting down some ideas for your upcoming presentation, or even taking out the trash before you forget, getting it over and done with will make sleep a heck of a lot easier. Just don’t spend all night working on it!

15. Do Your Least Favorite Task

As Muse writer Varci Vartanian says in an article about simple sleep solutions, “‘If it’s after bedtime, do something that you enjoy a lot less than sleep!’ [says Dr. Stein] If it’s been 20 minutes and you still haven’t drifted off, get out of bed and attack the most boring, least stimulating task imaginable. Sleep might seem more welcoming after spending a lively half-hour with a dusty college textbook on literary theory.”

Or, even just thinking about the task might be enough to make you fall asleep.

16. Drink Something Hot

Making yourself a glass of hot milk with honey (I swear it’s delicious) or decaffeinated tea could warm your body up for rest. Want more options? Here are 10 drinks that’ll help you get to sleep, backed by science!

17. Stick Your Feet Out

Yup—research says that keeping your toes cool makes you more likely to fall asleep. So pop them out of the covers and get snoozing!

18. Cover Your Eyes

Even if your room’s pretty dark, there’s probably some light that makes its way in. So, if you don’t have an eye mask, grab a warm washcloth (soak and microwave for a few seconds) or a t-shirt and cover your eyes so that all you can see is sleep.

19. Watch a Good Movie or Browse the Web

I don’t want to be the one who says browse through social media or watch Netflix, because glaring screens are probably not the best idea—but I’m also not going to say they don’t work. Because sometimes, you just need a comforting movie or TV show or an endless scroll on Imgur to distract you from insomnia.

That being said, try everything else above first, because it could also backfire and turn into a long, unproductive night of technology.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

There’s also lots online about devices that can help you sleep, as well as those to combat the snorer in your life!

So that’s it from me tonight/this morning… And as Jim Carrey would say in The Truman Show, ‘uncase I don’t see you again, good afternoon, good evening and goodnight!’

Advertisement

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s